If it wasn’t enough that I have to repeatedly be subjected to Miley Cyrus dropping it like it’s not twerking in this godforsaken unicorn onesie, I come across this picture of Ciara, whom I feel is desperately just trying to find any way to stand out as my man Charlemagne would say in a “Beyonce/Rihanna world”. So before this crime of fashion gets out of hand, allow me to state that this onesie trend is NOT cute. Like not even kind of. These onesies are equivalent to pajama jeans or wearing scrub sets when the closest you’ve been to a hospital is being treated for accidentally cutting your slashing your thumb with a potato peeler: They all look like you didn’t try.
Onesies made it to this edition of Made U Look because they will make people stare for all of the wrong reasons. As some of you may know, I love shopping UK fashion sites and that’s where I first came across this dreaded moment in fashion that we will be looking at like “WTF was I thinking?” come next year (kind of how I won’t feel about all the wedge sneaker collection I am hesitantly building). Trust me, you will regret this nostalgic moment in trying to make your Garanimals into Gaultier. And unless them bitches have slippery footies that we can burn holes through while we fake ice-skate across the carpet, there is no damn point in wasting your money. Like shiny foil-like bubble jackets circa P. Diddy and Mase, velour sweatsuits, popping your collar and harem pants (Who is responsible for repeatedly trying to make those damn things hot outside of Hammertime?) this shit needs to stop now before it gets out of hand. And while we’re at it avoid these things too.
They are just all kinds of wrong. You’re not edgy. You’re not Rihanna. You just look like you spent way too much money on leggings that highlight your cellulite courtesy of Rainbow.