14 Things That Grown Ass Women Don’t Do

It’s funny how what it means to “be grown” changes as you get older. You think when you’ll have sex you’ll finally be a woman.  If that doesn’t work, you figure when you get your driver’s license you’ll have more independence and be grown.  When you realize you’ve screwed yourself out of a chauffeur, that shit gets old quickly and you assume one day when you’re out on your own with your own spot you can claim adulthood.  But then you realize you can’t cook a three-course meal to save your life and still don’t know exactly how a 401K works.

I personally don’t think anyone truly feels like an adult.  You just end up feeling like an older version of yourself with more responsibilities who’s just winging this life shit hoping that no one catches on to the fact that you really don’t know what the hell you’re doing.  So it always amuses me when I see women running around bragging about the benchmarks of their womanhood. “Yeah girl, I’m grown.  I mean everything is in his name but I pay the cable bill.”  “Yeah I went to the club and not the PTA meeting, but I’m somebody’s mother.  You can’t tell me shit.”  “I don’t have time for little girls on my baby’s Facebook page. #BadBitch #OnMyGrownWoman #GetMoney #MainChick.”

I can no longer sit around and watch you Babysitter’s Club, Easy-Bake Oven broads make a mockery out of what it means to be mature.  I don’t care what your driver’s license says, being an adult is about more than making babies, paying bills and having a job. It’s about telling the truth when it’s easier to lie, being on your best behavior even when no one is watching, “liking” or “following”, and being humble to the fact that you don’t know half of what you think you do.  Here are 10 things that don’t have anything to do with being grown:


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