Is Having Children out of Wedlock Acceptable Now that White People Say It’s OK?

If Bragelina can do it, why can’t us regla’ folks? Source: Hookedon

I was running late for work yesterday morning as usual, and as I ironed my sundress for this 90 degree day, I heard the familiar voices of Savannah Guthrie, Matt Lauer and Al Roker in the background.  I really just wanted to know the chances Philly would have a thunderstorm at rush hour so I could beg my boyfriend to pick me up from work.  Surprisingly they had Carson Daly as a special guest (Wow, I haven’t seen him since his days on Last Call when he was looking pale and sickly).

One of the stories that caught my attention was The Changing Face of Marriage in America, which discussed how more couples are saying “I Don’t” and choosing to remix the popular nursery rhyme as first come sex, then comes the baby carriage, and if it works out well maybe we’ll try marriage.  Of course some of the trendsetters named in this trend were Kim Kardashian and Kanye West along with the holy messiahs of having children out of wedlock: Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. “Hollywood affects all aspects of the decisions of mainstream America from products to fashion to trends.  Now it’s affecting how we do relationships,” stated Laura Baron, Life Coach/Relationship expert. Huh?  I think what bothered me most is how this “trend” which was once looked at as a sign of moral decline, was now being applauded because Hollywood was doing it.

When Rihanna rocked a jet black bob for her reincarnation as good girl gone bad via her Umbrella video, I surely ran to my hairstylist to copy it exactly.  When Nicki Minaj rocked some Brian Atwood Military Buckle Boots for a local concert a few years back, I got on my grind looking for knockoffs. But if we all let Hollywood set the trends in our personal lives we’d all be unwed mothers who think it’s ok to inject hydrogel in our asses on the regular, and pass the hours of the day engaging in Twitter beefs over men who move through relationships like train transfers.

The piece also points out that marriage rates are at their lowest in over a century, but I think it’s more of a matter of art imitating life than life imitating art.  I can’t help but feel like not even 5 years ago we were shaking our heads and looking down our noses at celebs like Jamie Lynn Spears and Bristol Palin for being unwed teen mothers.  Because even if they did have the finances to support these children, of course they were irresponsible and involved in unstable relationships.  Teenage relationships by their nature are unstable, right?  And that is no way to raise a healthy child.


Should I Be Proud of Making a Man Cheat?


I always said that if I ever caught my man cheating I wouldn’t be that girl on Cheaters that Joey Greco holds back from beating the hell out of the other women while she screams, “If you were handling your business, he wouldn’t be laid up with me!”  Because we all watch that show and know damn well the girls should be a united front in putting some paws on the trifling man who is playing them both.  But usually he’s running through someone’s garden away from the camera men or sitting in the driver’s seat of 1995 Toyota Tercel with spinning rims, amused by it all.

My motto has always been you can’t blame the other women because she didn’t agree to be faithful and committed to you, your man however did.  But as I sit here and listen to several tracks off of this J. Cole Born Sinner album, I can’t help but feel like he’s apologizing to the girlfriend he’s been very public about in advance for the fact that his dick makes many decisions without consulting his conscience first.  For example on the track Runaway, he disperses a little raw honesty that I can appreciate:

Love my girl but I told her straight up “don’t wait up”
Stumble home late, I’m drunk, we fucked then made up
Used to living free as a bird, now I’m laid up
Feeling like a nigga got handcuffs on
How the fuck did my life become a damn love song?
She ride for a nigga and she stand up for him
But a nigga wanna be a nigga, be a nigga
Ride through the streets with freaks and real niggas
She never understand what it’s like to be a man
Knowing when you look inside yourself you see a nigga

Ok, maybe I don’t agree with the idea that whether you have a dick or not renders how helpless you’ll be when making sexual decisions, but I get it.  As my co-worker said in the most gender discriminatory comment of the year in a small office full of women: Boys will be boys.  Ok ladies, so what’s our excuse?

In many of my recent blogs I speak about this staggering trend of dehydration that has afflicted most single women at the close of this last cuffing season.  It was only just the other day I met up with my ex who recently made a pretty pricey car purchase and decided to take me for a ride. As we pulled up to the red light, you couldn’t tell the next car full of hungry hungry hippos that I wasn’t sitting in the passenger seat, as they proceeded to have their breasts and thighs pour down the side of their car door in an effort to get his attention.  I wasn’t his girlfriend, but apparently they didn’t know that nor did they care.  If you don’t know, here’s a confirmation: The parch is indeed genuine.

Dear Blogs: We Aren’t All Built Like Coke Bottles…and That’s OK


If I’m being honest, most days I don’t take MediaTakeOut too seriously. I mean Rihanna can’t be pictured shaking someone’s hand  without them reporting that she became pregnant with their child under the influence of a 48-hour coke binge.  I get it, most blogs are purely for entertainment and hits.  If I want facts I’d probably fare better with the “I’m Feeling Lucky” button on Google than consulting some random celebrity blog. I mean anyone can have a blog and write what they want.  Shit, I have a blog and write what I want.

My problem comes with the fact that the more momentum and larger audiences that these blogs gain, their ability to create norms and define beauty becomes magnified.  Left in the wrong hands, that’s a pretty dangerous superpower. Point being this headline: Chris Brown’s Girlfriend Takes Some Bikini Pics and Has The Body of 10 Year Old Boy.


OK, among my other skinny girl problems  like people assuming I don’t need room for my blood to circulate while seated on the bus or being repeatedly reminded to eat like I have it scheduled in a planner, this shit right here truly annoys me.  It’s no secret we live in a world of tub caulk asses and saline breasts.  It’s gotten to the point where it’s cool if a woman’s ass looks like this guy’s from The Oblongs:

Mikey: Twerking That Thang Since 2001

I’ve stated before that sometimes I glance at Nicki Minaj and question my own self-esteem as well as my own sexuality.  But I’m a skinny girl who’s embraced whatever little curves I have or lack a long time ago.  And no matter how much the blogs or hip-hop tries to convince me, I refuse to believe that if my ass isn’t overlapping my thighs I am not sexy,desirable or “grown”. I also refuse to believe that all men want a carbon copy straight from a Rick Ross video set.

I think it’s so funny how many things are associated with being thick and curvy.  I know people wouldn’t assume I was 17 when they first met me if they had to make room for my hips.  I know people wouldn’t think I’m as innocent and demure as I appear if I had trouble keeping my tits in my shirt.  I’m not throwing shade on the thick girls, I’m just saying that our culture can’t be this close-minded.

How contradictory is it to tell women that they shouldn’t starve themselves but it’s cool if you want to inject yourself with gallons of hydrogel since it doesn’t look any different than the real thing.  I went from one blog bashing “Chris Brown’s girlfriend” (by the way her name is Karrueche) to another with a headline saying, “Now We Know Why C Breezy just Can’t Seem to Leave Kae Alone.”  Huh?

Being Gay Doesn’t Automatically Make You Edgy or Fabulous


I really hate when people live up to the stereotype.  I hate when a Chinese person makes a left turn out of the right lane.  I hate when I see young black women getting on the bus in satin bonnets.  I hate when women act clueless about anything that doesn’t have to do with shoes or make up.  So when I went to show my support for my LGBTQ friends this past weekend at Philly Pride Day, my idealistic bubble was sure enough busted.

Here I was thinking I’d see a crowd of rainbow colors standing together to see some drag shows and fight for marriage equality but what I witnessed was something similar to a Same Sex Freaknic.  I love my LGBTQ friends and I know some of them have the tendency to be a bit extra, but I guess I’m just used to hanging out with well-seasoned, older gay men who are comfortable enough in their sexuality to not need to make a show out of it.  Philly Pride seemed to be filled with young people who wanted to be noticed for the sake of being noticed.  I didn’t get the vibe of support and awareness, but more so young people who wore their sexuality as an accessory and used it as an excuse to be flamboyant, loud and…as much as I need this word to die…ratchet.

10 Old Man Crushes (or at least the characters they played)


There’s something that happens to me when I look at certain men over the age of 45: I get a curious case of “jungle fever” and suddenly swag isn’t as attractive as political nerdiness. Many of the men who get me flushed and fevered also have in common a number of problems including alcoholism, sex addiction and drug abuse, but maybe that’s more because they’re tortured actor types and not because I am attracted to men with severe emotional problems.  Anywayz, I wouldn’t mind calling a majority of these distinguished dudes “Daddy” because they’re just plain hot: