Murphy’s Law For Babies: Because Despite Your Best Effort, You Won’t Be Prepared

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Even with being a parenting educator, I was able to make it to age 30 with little to no interaction with those cute poop suppliers we call babies. I mean sure the big concepts of parenting are great: “Lead by example.” “Put the phone down and listen to your kids.” “Balance discipline with love.”  But none of that really prepared me for the everyday struggle that is parenting a newborn. And that’s the thing about parenting: No matter how often you babysit your best friend’s kids or how many Pandora charms you’ve been given for best god mother of the year, the truth is parenting is one of those things you have to learn on the job. It’s also something you won’t completely comprehend until you have your own clumsy, drooling creature with nothing in the world to defend themselves with but you and two bottom teeth.

With that said, there are a few things that I’ve been noticing that when it comes to babies WILL go wrong if they CAN go wrong, also known as Murphy’s laws. This becomes especially apparent when your baby becomes mobile. Since my daughter managed to master crawling, she’s made first six months of her life seem like we were on a Royal Caribbean cruise. I mean sure there was some crying and crankiness, but nothing that couldn’t easily be solved with a pacifier, a fresh diaper or food. Now that she’s 8 months and her father and I are using the parental power of the word, “No!”, she’s discovering that just because she can reach it, doesn’t mean she can have it and that has turned into frustrating battle of control. Oh and let’s not forget she’s mobile but has separation anxiety which means I can’t pee or blink without her in my lap, crying or attempting a freefall off the edge of the bed.

Here are a few things that are going to happen inevitably when you have baby.  You won’t be prepared, but that doesn’t mean you can’t try: